The 'art of counseling' is all about going where the client needs to go, letting the client lead the conversation, doing what's best for the client. Each of my professors has a different mantra that essentially states the same idea. And that idea is not one of complexity. Even to those of you who are not currently studying clinical mental health counseling, I would imagine it sounds pretty simple.
Well, as it turns out, it's not.
My tendency is quickly move in to "fix-it" mode, which is generally the last thing that clients need. It results in me pushing them to a place where they are not ready to go, or in my trying to make them fit into a box that is completely irrelevant to what might actually be concerning them. When I get busy thinking of how to solve their problems, I unavoidably tune out them out with at least one ear, so my mind can more efficiently multi-task. With only one ear tuned in, I only hear half of the information, which leaves us disconnected and far from finding the peace and hope that they crave.
What. a. mess.
Thankfully, I am still a "counselor-in-training," which means I have time to improve and mentors in my life to assist me. However, noticing this detrimental pattern that I seem to slip into so often has brought a parallel to mind in my own life, and it's one that needs attention now.
I so often struggle with going where Jesus needs to go, letting him lead our conversations, and doing what's best for him (and consequently best for myself, for that matter) with my life. It's so hard to step back and listen, to commune with him and to enjoy the time spent in his presence, hearing his story. I hear just enough to give me a few clues as to how I might be able to step in and "fix" whatever I deem needs fixing, and then I'm off to the races, without pausing to hear the rest of his heart for me in that moment.
We serve a patient God, full of grace and undying love. Thank goodness.
I'm recognizing my need to slow down and listen. And that means listening without an agenda, or without my to-do list hovering in the back of my mind. Active listening, which requires both ears tuned in, and soaking up every nuance of his countenance. Taking note of the way he gazes at me with compassion and thrill. Savoring the sound of his voice, the voice that he uses only with me, so that I may hear it and know it. And the words of his beautiful, intricate story that he has invited me to take part in.
That is most definitely worth listening to.
-Britni
Friday, February 28, 2014
Monday, February 17, 2014
oh, God really does know what he's doing?
Over the course of mine and Mike's dating, engaged and married relationship (going on 5 years now!) there have been a few precious moments where I get a glimpse of the grand and beautiful purpose God has established in Mike and for our life together. In God's seemingly typical fashion, these glimpses tend to catch me completely off guard and yet appear at the most necessary time. It's not usually a moment that is much out of the ordinary, but something about seeing Mike in his element, in just the right setting, when my heart is in a particular state…it takes my breath away.
Yesterday I got a double goodness of blessing with two of these rare gems. In the morning, Mike and I were privileged to lead a brief devotional and prayer time for our church leadership team. As we segued from my little devotional blurb to the prayer time he was leading, I saw it. These tend to occur as those moments when time stops, just for a second. But it hit me: this is it. This is what we were created to do, together. This is why God bringing us together produced something stronger and more influential in His Kingdom than us independent of each other. We were wired from the beginning to teach, encourage, challenge, and motivate those around us, and to do it together. Thanks for that Jesus!
As if that wasn't enough, last night during our church service Mike was able to pray with a young man after the message. Like I said, these eye-opening moments aren't necessarily profound to the naked eye. But for me, it was supernatural. Getting to observe these two men huddled together on the end of the pew in prayer, with voices raised in worship in the background, I was struck. This too, this is it. God very intentionally crafted my husband together to be a man who inspires, supports, and commits to those around him in need. As his wife, I get the absolute honor of affirming these gifts in his life. How beautiful it is, to serve Jesus together.
Now, as much as I savor these sweet glimpses that God lets me in on, let me assure you that the majority of my day to day life is made up of staring down my to-do list, gazing out at the gray, cloudy skies and trying to keep my eyes open in the middle of the night when Shiloh needs to be rocked. It's so easy for me to lose sight of the remarkable things God has ordained us to do as I am blinded by the average stressors of my life.
I am reminded to do all things (laundry, homework, changing diapers, etc) as though I am doing them for the Lord and not for men, [Colossians 3:23] and yes, that is good. However, I want to not lose sight of the deep, meaningful, and purposeful things God has established for us to do. I want to seek more, and to not wait expectantly for those things to eventually come to fruition. "Each day contains twenty-four hours, every single one presents a unique set of circumstances" (Sarah Young). There are undoubtedly many opportunities throughout our day to get a taste of the bigger things God has intended for us. So why not seek out those breath-taking, heartbeat-skipping, simple moments of fulfilling God's purpose, today?
-Britni
Yesterday I got a double goodness of blessing with two of these rare gems. In the morning, Mike and I were privileged to lead a brief devotional and prayer time for our church leadership team. As we segued from my little devotional blurb to the prayer time he was leading, I saw it. These tend to occur as those moments when time stops, just for a second. But it hit me: this is it. This is what we were created to do, together. This is why God bringing us together produced something stronger and more influential in His Kingdom than us independent of each other. We were wired from the beginning to teach, encourage, challenge, and motivate those around us, and to do it together. Thanks for that Jesus!
As if that wasn't enough, last night during our church service Mike was able to pray with a young man after the message. Like I said, these eye-opening moments aren't necessarily profound to the naked eye. But for me, it was supernatural. Getting to observe these two men huddled together on the end of the pew in prayer, with voices raised in worship in the background, I was struck. This too, this is it. God very intentionally crafted my husband together to be a man who inspires, supports, and commits to those around him in need. As his wife, I get the absolute honor of affirming these gifts in his life. How beautiful it is, to serve Jesus together.
Now, as much as I savor these sweet glimpses that God lets me in on, let me assure you that the majority of my day to day life is made up of staring down my to-do list, gazing out at the gray, cloudy skies and trying to keep my eyes open in the middle of the night when Shiloh needs to be rocked. It's so easy for me to lose sight of the remarkable things God has ordained us to do as I am blinded by the average stressors of my life.
I am reminded to do all things (laundry, homework, changing diapers, etc) as though I am doing them for the Lord and not for men, [Colossians 3:23] and yes, that is good. However, I want to not lose sight of the deep, meaningful, and purposeful things God has established for us to do. I want to seek more, and to not wait expectantly for those things to eventually come to fruition. "Each day contains twenty-four hours, every single one presents a unique set of circumstances" (Sarah Young). There are undoubtedly many opportunities throughout our day to get a taste of the bigger things God has intended for us. So why not seek out those breath-taking, heartbeat-skipping, simple moments of fulfilling God's purpose, today?
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