learning to listen

The 'art of counseling' is all about going where the client needs to go, letting the client lead the conversation, doing what's best for the client. Each of my professors has a different mantra that essentially states the same idea. And that idea is not one of complexity. Even to those of you who are not currently studying clinical mental health counseling, I would imagine it sounds pretty simple.

Well, as it turns out, it's not.

My tendency is quickly move in to "fix-it" mode, which is generally the last thing that clients need. It results in me pushing them to a place where they are not ready to go, or in my trying to make them fit into a box that is completely irrelevant to what might actually be concerning them. When I get busy thinking of how to solve their problems, I unavoidably tune out them out with at least one ear, so my mind can more efficiently multi-task. With only one ear tuned in, I only hear half of the information, which leaves us disconnected and far from finding the peace and hope that they crave.

What. a. mess.

Thankfully, I am still a "counselor-in-training," which means I have time to improve and mentors in my life to assist me. However, noticing this detrimental pattern that I seem to slip into so often has brought a parallel to mind in my own life, and it's one that needs attention now.

I so often struggle with going where Jesus needs to go, letting him lead our conversations, and doing what's best for him (and consequently best for myself, for that matter) with my life. It's so hard to step back and listen,  to commune with him and to enjoy the time spent in his presence, hearing his story. I hear just enough to give me a few clues as to how I might be able to step in and "fix" whatever I deem needs fixing, and then I'm off to the races, without pausing to hear the rest of his heart for me in that moment.

We serve a patient God, full of grace and undying love. Thank goodness.

I'm recognizing my need to slow down and listen. And that means listening without an agenda, or without my to-do list hovering in the back of my mind. Active listening, which requires both ears tuned in, and soaking up every nuance of his countenance. Taking note of the way he gazes at me with compassion and thrill. Savoring the sound of his voice, the voice that he uses only with me, so that I may hear it and know it. And the words of his beautiful, intricate story that he has invited me to take part in.

That is most definitely worth listening to.

-Britni

oh, God really does know what he's doing?

Over the course of mine and Mike's dating, engaged and married relationship (going on 5 years now!) there have been a few precious moments where I get a glimpse of the grand and beautiful purpose God has established in Mike and for our life together. In God's seemingly typical fashion, these glimpses tend to catch me completely off guard and yet appear at the most necessary time. It's not usually a moment that is much out of the ordinary, but something about seeing Mike in his element, in just the right setting, when my heart is in a particular state…it takes my breath away.

Yesterday I got a double goodness of blessing with two of these rare gems. In the morning, Mike and I were privileged to lead a brief devotional and prayer time for our church leadership team. As we segued from my little devotional blurb to the prayer time he was leading, I saw it. These tend to occur as those moments when time stops, just for a second. But it hit me: this is it. This is what we were created to do, together. This is why God bringing us together produced something stronger and more influential in His Kingdom than us independent of each other. We were wired from the beginning to teach, encourage, challenge, and motivate those around us, and to do it together. Thanks for that Jesus!

As if that wasn't enough, last night during our church service Mike was able to pray with a young man after the message. Like I said, these eye-opening moments aren't necessarily profound to the naked eye. But for me, it was supernatural. Getting to observe these two men huddled together on the end of the pew in prayer, with voices raised in worship in the background, I was struck. This too, this is it. God very intentionally crafted my husband together to be a man who inspires, supports, and commits to those around him in need. As his wife, I get the absolute honor of affirming these gifts in his life. How beautiful it is, to serve Jesus together.

Now, as much as I savor these sweet glimpses that God lets me in on, let me assure you that the majority of my day to day life is made up of staring down my to-do list, gazing out at the gray, cloudy skies and trying to keep my eyes open in the middle of the night when Shiloh needs to be rocked. It's so easy for me to lose sight of the remarkable things God has ordained us to do as I am blinded by the average stressors of my life. 

I am reminded to do all things (laundry, homework, changing diapers, etc) as though I am doing them for the Lord and not for men, [Colossians 3:23] and yes, that is good. However, I want to not lose sight of the deep, meaningful, and purposeful things God has established for us to do. I want to seek more, and to not wait expectantly for those things to eventually come to fruition. "Each day contains twenty-four hours, every single one presents a unique set of circumstances" (Sarah Young). There are undoubtedly many opportunities throughout our day to get a taste of the bigger things God has intended for us. So why not seek out those breath-taking, heartbeat-skipping, simple moments of fulfilling God's purpose, today?

-Britni

Things are Starting to get Bitter Sweet

Brandon and I just had our last weekend together in Portland; which seems strange since we aren’t actually moving for a month. Our next four weekends will be full of travel, to find a place to live, and to see family for the Thanksgiving Holiday. I feel this weekend marked the beginning of the “goodbyes.” It is an interesting feeling, because one minute there is nothing but excitement about our future ahead, the next I am heartbroken because of what we are leaving behind. What has made this season so special, is we are practicing thankfulness, acknowledging blessing, and enjoying our last bit of time in Portland. It has been easy to get bogged down in all the details and “must do’s” to prepare for the move, and when things are falling into place both Brandon and I almost react with panic expecting something to go wrong. We were blessed with an amazing job opportunity for Brandon (thank you everyone for the prayers) and our initial reaction was almost “This is too good to be true, whats going to go wrong?” Through that we realized how much joy we were cheating ourselves out of, and had to teach ourselves to acknowledge the blessing and thanking God for what he has given us. On a smaller scale we have been practicing seeing this time as a blessing by going through an almost “Oregon Bucket List” which was finished this weekend. I want to take this opportunity to acknowledge the blessing that the Oregon Bucket List was.

1. Hike the Silver Falls Trail: This was the first one we completed, it was a 7 mile hike and took us about 4 hours. Brandon and I do our best communicating when we go on walks, so nothing was better than 4 hours together talking, and ending it with a taster tray at seven brides brewery.
2. Have my first Pumpkin Spice Latte in the Oregon Fall: I will be honest, I did not like the taste at all. I did love the experience, it was early October, the leaves were changing and the colors were breath taking. What I liked best, was that I shared this experience with Britni, any time we have together is a blessing. 
3. Hike the Multnomah Falls Loop trail: Brandon proposed at Multnomah Falls, and we try to hike to the top at least once a year. This is a very special place for us, but just doing the one falls hike was starting to get annoying because of how crowded it was, and we wanted to try something different. The loop we did had about 10 different waterfalls, and it was gorgeous. It was also fun because we wore our fisherman style hats! Brandon bought one in college and I used to always make fun of him for it. For my bachelorette party my dear friend Alana bought one for me so we could match, and we finally did!
4. Eat at Por que No?: This is a place that I have herd nothing but good things about, and it lived up to it’s reputation. I have actually gotten to go twice. The first time was with Britni, again anytime with her is refreshing and so special. The second time was with my good friend Kate from school. We have been so busy this term we haven’t really been able to talk. It was nice getting to catch up, and talk about the perks of being introverts!
5. Eat at the Equinox one last time: This is my favorite restaurant in Portland, it is in the Historic Mississippi area, which is such a cute part of town. Traditionally every time we have gone I ordered the caesar salad, which was delicious, but I was always lusting after the burger, so you could say I had unfinished business with this place. That was our date last Saturday, and I got the burger, and it was delicious! In my opinion to spend our last date in Portland. 
6. Hike Mt. Tabor: I love the Portland Sky Line and I wanted to be able to see it from a high point of view. Mt. Tabor is very popular and again I have always wanted to see/hike it. This was also a special time because the Hollands were up from California and I was a fun thing to do together.
7. Go to a Timbers Game: This is something I have wanted to do ever since we moved to Portland. Brandon played soccer in college and I have a real soft spot for the sport. 
8. Work up to running 3 miles: This one might seem a little strange but it does fit, I have this habit when change is coming up I make big plans to do something new, and it’s usually to start running. One of the reasons we are most looking forward to moving to Sacramento, is the opportunity to do more outdoor living. I decided that I would rather start my outdoor living in the Oregon summer and fall because it is so beautiful. I am happy to say I can now run 3 miles! This is also great because I am still planning to run the Walt Disney World half marathon with my sisters. 

Here are a few pictures from the experience. Thank you everyone for letting me take this opportunity to share the blessing of this bitter sweet time.

The always beautiful Multnomah Falls

Shiloh and I enjoying lunch at Porque No? (Brit is behind the camera) We can Ignore the fact that he started to cry once I held him…awesome. 

One of the many beautiful waterfalls at Silver Falls. 

I think this one is self explanatory, but just in case. GO TIMBERS!

A picture of Frisco just for fun!

-Jordie

the things that make a new momma smile...

I've recently noticed that there are quite a few things in my day to day life that bring me joy, that will presumably only make sense to other new moms...but I believe they are worth sharing. If nothing else, it's a reminder to me to embrace the smiles God gives me through the day, between the screaming baby and homework cramming moments:

-Clean (cloth) Diaper Day [the day when all of the cloth diapers are fresh out of the wash and fully dry, and you can rest easy knowing it will be a good two days before the diaper-washing-process begins again.] I liken this feeling of freedom to that of a full tank of gas...it's a good day.

-When the spit up gets just enough distance to projectile over the clothes I just changed Shiloh into, but not so far that it lands on something difficult to clean (i.e. the couch cushion). Spit up landing on the sidewalk or linoleum is most preferable.

-When I discover a new article of clothing that fits again [it's like a gradual, free shopping spree!]

-Baby smiles and baby giggles

-When Shiloh gracefully falls asleep at his approximate naptime with no tears, fusses or tedious rocking required [this HAS happened on occasion!]

-Trips out in public [such as running errands or visiting friends] where Shiloh acts like a perfect, angelic child

-Lately, it has brought me great joy when Shiloh finishes a bottle [of milk that I worked hard to pump!] without too much objection

-Constantly remembering what a genuine honor and blessing I have been given by my Jesus to try and fill the humongous role of being Shiloh's mom.


I love this adventure of trying to daily live intentionally as a new momma, learning how to love in a new way and be loved in a new way... it's truly been beautiful.

[of course this post provides a perfectly appropriate opportunity to share a picture of my super handsome and adorable little man]

-Britni

meet jordie.

Meet Jordie Dawn Holland:

Jordie is a passionate, beautiful lover of Jesus and of people.  She has a unique capability of balancing a spicy wit with a genuine sensitivity, and rarely meets an enemy. Her love of Tommy Boy, animals with human traits (see example here) and a good poop story sheds light on her goofy side. But more importantly, God has gifted Jordie with a precious glimmer of His own compassionate heart. Her life is marked by the pursuit of justice for the oppressed and freedom for those who are living in bondage. She is currently studying Clinical Mental Health Counseling at Western Seminary to pursue some aspect of the counseling profession, in order to transform her burden for broken people into a career. Jordie has been joyfully married to her hubs Brandon Holland for 4 years and their family is made complete with their dear kitty Frisco. I have had the privilege of calling Jordie  one of my dearest friends for almost 6 years now and  I deeply cherish our friendship. Jordie offers deep and valuable insight into my life that is irreplaceable and knowing her truly makes me a better individual, What she has to say is so worth hearing, so I am honored to join her on this adventure of discovery and reflection!
-Brit

meet britni.

Meet Britni Clarice D'Eliso:

 Britni is one of the most compassionate and tenderhearted people in this world. Upon initially meeting Brit her soft voice and clam demeanor present her gentle side, but this girl is a force to be reckoned with. Britni was blessed with a fiery passion for justice, and a desire to spread the gospel to those who have been rejected by society. When one is with Britni she brings a refreshing spirit that inspires all who know her to seek God more fervently. Britni is currently following her calling to minister to the poor and marginalized, by working towards establishing a missional community with her husband Mike, their son Shiloh and two cats Ollie (a gift from me!) and Smidge. Britni has worked as an Urban Missionary in Eugene, Oregon working with homeless youth, and she is currently pursuing a Master’s Degree in Clinical Mental Health Counseling. Britni is a true friend who is not only beautiful inside and out, but has a Class A sense of humor. Everyone needs that friend whom they can exchange poop stories, pictures of awkward statues in the middle of downtown Portland and some quality Dawson’s Creek time. When I decided to do this blog about going through the different seasons of life with a purpose, Britni was my automatic first choice partner, not only is she my dear best friend, but she lives her life with such intention and purpose that she is an inspiration to me every day.

 -Jordie

so, why are we writing this blog?

                                

The inspiration for this blog came from the desire to walk through life more intentionally. It is so easy to get bogged down with random priorities, that when “free time” does come around it is usually spent vegging out in front of the television, at least that’s what it means for me. I don’t think there is a problem with enjoying a good movie or show every now and then, but I have been getting frustrated with myself when I sit down to watch T.V. with no plans in mind and the next thing I know it’s been six hours. Life is moving fast and it seems that I am always looking forward to what’s next instead of taking full advantage of where I am in the present. This blog is my accountability to live with more purpose and to share it with the people I love. I asked my best friend Brit to partner with me in this blog for many reasons, the main one being that she is my role model and I feel that everything she does has a purpose. We are both entering into new seasons in our lives; Britni is a new mom, and I am preparing to move to a new city in a few months. As our lives change and evolve, this blog can keep us connected while we take the steps to live our lives with intention. Intention to love our families, our friends and our cities. You are welcome to join our journey of living life on purpose.

-Jordie